Sunday, February 14

Why Halo: Reach will be better than Sex

cortana sexty boobs cartoon
Here's your first reason

Why Halo: Reach will be better than Sex

I guess the first one is obvious, even to people like Tom Cruise, who despite their love of Zenu know in their hearts that Reach will be better than sex because you can never fire blanks in Reach. 

Every shot a head shot.

Speaking of shots, after landing one in Reach you won't have to clean up the mess.

You can fire your gun as many times as you like in Reach. You can reload in a second and get that double and triple kill and God forbid an overkill of four. Good luck getting a triple thrill in the sack with your missus. Indeed, it's really easy to get three or four players to form a group for a long drawn out session of Halo. Not so easy arranging a group sex session if you're a noob.

You can always wear your big green spartan space suit while playing Reach. Good luck wearing a green and gold spartan helmet with your nearest and dearest when playing 'hide the sausage'. For some reason, other halves seem to frown on that stuff?

Halo Reach will not get upset if you play with more than one Xbox 360. With sex, you are generally lucky to have a box to slip your di$k in. Some times you have to pay $360 for the privilege of slipping it in. 

If your gun in Reach bolts of fierce green fire, people will admire you. If your gun, while having sex fires green, see Dr Halsey, like now. 

Seriously, now. 

You booked the appointment right?

With Reach you can take pictures and movies of your sweet moves from any angle, put them on the internet and share them with your friends and no one will  Unless you are Paris Hilton, you don't want a video of your ass crack winking at the world on the internet do ya?

Post is a retread of one I did at The Optimus Prime Experiment.


Anonymous said...

dear bungie, my gamer tag is hammer head 175 i dont have xbox live but will in a bit please may i have recon armor please i played halo conbat evolved,halo 2,halo 3,halo 3 odst,&now halo pc ive been bored since i never had xbox live so when i get xbox live please can i have recon. sincerly, hammerhead 175

Anonymous said...

p.s. bungie im a big halo fan i hope to work at bungie the same as u guys p.s.s. i heard kids at my school talking about that ur games & they like mw2 suk but i dont because i think the multiplayer idea & forge idea was great so i thought u guys r the best p.s.s.s why would someone make call of duty mw2 4 multiplayer all u do 4 multiplayer is kill a guy with short health that totally suks but ur game has over shields and healing health also u get to put the way u want it u guys r badass & that is why i want recon sincerly hammer head 175

Anonymous said...

sorry bungie that came out wrong i ment to say that they like mw2 but i think it suks but i love halo and its the bestest game ever made sincerly, hammer head175

Anonymous said...

For all the comments above me ^^
LOL noob - Jollter

Jimmy Jangles said...

Hey dude - we love the sentiment but this site isn't a bungie site - it's a fan site by some one who loves Bungie and all things halo!

Anonymous said...

Halo campain is awesome I like whin u think ur going to see his face but something blokes it!! In Halo 4 u need mongooses that can fly!!

Jimmy Jangles said...

rock on bruva